Ephesians 5:21-6:9

Read Ephesians 5:21-6:9

RAMP: READ / ANALYZE / MEDITATE / PRAY

R: Read the Passage

A: Analyze

1. What does this say about God and/or Jesus Christ?

While this passage is mostly filled with instructions, I found myself filling up a pretty long list of what God is worthy of — as in, we are instructed to honor him because He is worthy of our submission, obedience and service. 

2. What does this say about you?

Again, lots of instructions, but look deeper. As the bride of Christ (both men and women) were are held up in certain ways in God’s eyes. 

3. Is there a command to follow?

So many instructions. I’d suggest making a fulllll list and then we’ll explore more as we go. Yes, this passage breaks them out into the roles (husbands/wives/children/slaves/masters), BUT we will look at this more as a key to holy relationships — because we all fall into at least 3-4 of those roles!

4. Is there a sin to repent of? 

Maybe so!

5. Is there a promise to claim?

There’s the obvious one in 6:1-3, but I think there are some big promises all throughout the passage. Promises about God’s delight in us filling our individual roles with purpose, grace, submission and honor. The promises toward Christ’s Church are promises for us — we are the Bride of Christ!

Nicole’s Notes:

You may have been dreading the day we tackle this passage! It can be a tough one IF we come at it with a defensive mindset or with a chip on our shoulder. PRAY NOW for God to knock that chip off. Approach this passage as you have each and every one before now — expectant, ready and hopeful. As you know at this point, God’s instructions are for your good and His glory. God can never be for anything other than you’re good. He IS good. Good is defined in Him. So He cannot give a bad instruction, He cannot even think toward a bad relationship. He is fully good. Trust His goodness as you approach this passage. Just like you all embraced Chapter 4 even in the difficulty of facing our sinful natures, embrace this one. Trust it is GOOD!

While the passage definitely breaks out how we are to function in various roles, let’s take a bigger picture look at this passage as how we can function in relationship. Relationships done God’s way will always be relationships of honor + submission. Submission without honor is no way to live.

Verse 21 gives us the intro that should cover this entire passage. I almost wish it was big and bold in our Bibles so we’d see it as the covering that it is — Submission to others comes from a reverence for Christ. We could stop there and go home. Submitting to the people in our lives with honor is only possible when it is rooted in our reverence for Christ. We MUST hold Christ up and let our reverence for Him lead our relationships with others.

Let’s talk about submission — If we are all submitting to each other out of reverence for Christ, you know who is instructed to submit? All of us. Men — submit, women — submit, children — submit. We ALL are to submit TO GOD. Submission to God from a place of reverence leads to a role worthy of honor. And holy relationships will always be marked by honor + submission. 

Out of reverence for Him, we can gladly submit to HIS rule and HIS roles. Our reverence for Him allows us to love and serve others with compassion and honor. Keep in mind — a wife is called to submit to a husband who is willing to die for her. Talk about a submission out of reverence and filled with honor. A man willing to die for his lady is worth the honor bestowed upon him. And all women deserve a man who is willing to die for her. It’s scriptural.

The motive behind living in holiness in our relationships must be to love and honor Christ with our lives. Any other motive will kill a relationship.

I love these definitions from my commentary on submission and love:

• To submit is to put the will of the other ahead of your will (wife’s role).

• To love is to put the needs of the other ahead of your needs (husband’s role).

Remember back in chapter 4 when we talked about unity? Continue that thought into this passage — there is equal value in the different roles. Just like how diversity is beautiful within unity, difference in roles is beautiful within equality. Scripture says so, which leads me to this very important thought: traditional marriage does not always look like a Biblical marriage. Someone needed to hear that, so I’m just going to leave it right there.

Maybe this is a good time to say this — if you are in an abusive relationship, GET OUT. We will help you and God will protect you.

The role descriptions in this passage for a husband and a wife (out of reverence for Christ) are pictures of the ideal, the holy. The expectation for a husband is a picture of Christ. The expectation for a wife is a picture of the Church. We are reading what the ideal marriage should look like — it’s a picture of a happy and holy relationship. WE KNOW GOOD AND WELL WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE IDEAL EVERY DAY. That’s the point — the ideal should be our goal, it should be our intention, we should be there more times than we are not there and eventually, it should be our norm. But what does it take? Honor + Submission.

Are you in a place where you can’t even picture the ideal? You need to know this — where the ideal is not reality, God’s grace is enough. Enough for you, enough for them, enough for all. There is no chasm so great that grace cannot fill every crevice. 

Ok, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room with this passage — slavery. First of all, I’m not a history expert, but I want you to keep in mind that our modern day understanding of racial slavery is not the slavery that was the reality in the time of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. I don’t want to spend a ton of time on this because it is not the point of this passage and I don’t want the enemy to distract us from the point of good, godly, holy relationships. So, here are a few helpful notes of truth I found from the commentary I’ve personally studied.

• American slavery was primarily racial and lifelong. In Paul’s day, slavery was not racial and it was not always lifelong. Some similarities existed, but the scope was totally different. Separate issues from what we have in American history.

• Nearly one-third of the people in a city like Ephesus were slaves as an accepted part of the Mediterranean world’s economic life. According to a Biblical historian, slavery was so much a part of every day life that hardly anyone thought about whether it might be illegitimate. Many slaves were more educated than their owners, they could own property and were allowed to save their money to buy freedom as a way to grow their family’s economic situation. Many gained freedom by age thirty. Many slaves were co-heirs in the wills. So, clearly, the differences abound.

• The question remains, however, of how people became slaves? Again, according to my commentary, people became slaves through various avenues — birth, parental selling, abandonment, captivity in war, inability to pay debts and even voluntary attempts to better one’s financial and living conditions. Never was race a factor. 

• Personal note — slavery was typically tied to a painful situation, so I love how Paul includes slave/master relationships in the same section as spouses and families. I feel like it’s a beautiful picture of restoration and healing. 

• I also want to be clear that I am aware of the misuse of scriptures like this passage in the most evil corners of American slavery. It can’t be ignored. However, I want us to look at this passage as we have from the beginning — God’s Holy Word. What man may have used for pure evil was fully intended for good in the heart of our Heavenly Father.

Now, what do we do with all this info about the right way for relationships to function? We pray. We forgive. We repent. We set honor as the goal with respect as the reward. We invite God’s presence into our relationships. We refuse to settle for traditional or worldly substitutes for honor and submission. 

M: Meditate

• What relationships in your life look biblical?

• What relationships in your life don’t?

• Can you identify roles that lack honor? How can honor be restored?

• How can your reverence for Christ impact the honor void?

• Are you thriving in holy relationships? Thank God for it. 

• Are there potential roadblocks or blindspots in your relationships that you need to be aware of? Ask God to show them to you.
  

P: Pray

Pray, pray, pray, pray, pray and pray some more. Prayer with our Heavenly Father grows our reverence. The more we are in His presence, the more we stand in awe of Him. Grow your reverence through a healthy prayer life and watch honor come to life as you submit to others out of reverence for Christ.